The Skewed Review: Dog seeking friends
Matt Jacobson
Issue date: 11/2/09 Section: Opinion
On the negative side, though, for unleashing beasts such as Farmville and Mafia Wars, the creators of Facebook are hereby awarded eight out of 10 nights being forced to watch "Paranormal Activity" with a theater full of high school students. (If you have seen this film with a theater full of teenage movie goers, you know what I'm talking about.)
Secondly, to the people who continue to tempt me with these life-squandering diversions, the award is five out of five chick flicks if you're an action buff (and vice-versa) with a swine flu infected patron seated directly behind you. Please note this review does not entail any sort of mortality. I fully intend for these persons to get better… eventually.
Third, to people such as myself who complain that there aren't enough hours in the day to complete everything they need to get done, then insist upon spending days on end playing Farmville, we are all awarded one straight week with absolutely no computers, no Internet access, no cell phones, and no TV. We shall be forced to spend seven consecutive days outside breathing (dare I say it?) fresh air.
So of course by now I'm sure you're asking, "how can I get in on this social experiment?"
Those of you who participate will get the ever-so-coveted review of having to take classes from only professors as smart as you are. Thus, your grades will be through the roof.
It's simple. Log on to Facebook. Go to "find new friends," and type in the email address girly.-
scout@rocketmail.com. The profile that should pop up will be Scout Jacobson, my black labrador retriever. Request a friendship, and the rest is history.
Secondly, to the people who continue to tempt me with these life-squandering diversions, the award is five out of five chick flicks if you're an action buff (and vice-versa) with a swine flu infected patron seated directly behind you. Please note this review does not entail any sort of mortality. I fully intend for these persons to get better… eventually.
Third, to people such as myself who complain that there aren't enough hours in the day to complete everything they need to get done, then insist upon spending days on end playing Farmville, we are all awarded one straight week with absolutely no computers, no Internet access, no cell phones, and no TV. We shall be forced to spend seven consecutive days outside breathing (dare I say it?) fresh air.
So of course by now I'm sure you're asking, "how can I get in on this social experiment?"
Those of you who participate will get the ever-so-coveted review of having to take classes from only professors as smart as you are. Thus, your grades will be through the roof.
It's simple. Log on to Facebook. Go to "find new friends," and type in the email address girly.-
scout@rocketmail.com. The profile that should pop up will be Scout Jacobson, my black labrador retriever. Request a friendship, and the rest is history.
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