Dear Kate: Letter to "The Bachelor"
Kate Semmens
Issue date: 3/3/10 Section: Opinion
Dear Jake,
Congratulations on being chosen to be on "The Bachelor" and thank you for a most entertaining season.
Now that the niceties are out of the way, let's get down to business. What were you thinking?
Before I even get into the final decision of yours, we need to discuss the whole Ali situation. I understand that you didn't want to be the one to decide for her whether she was going to stay on the show and take a chance on love with you, or go home so she wouldn't lose her job, but how could you let her go? She was the girl you went on the show to find and you just let her slip right through your fingers.
I know that sometimes in life, for whatever reason, when people get really close to having absolute success with something they get scared of what might happen if they actually accomplish that huge goal and make it a reality, like marriage. Then starts the self-doubt and excuse making. Once fear starts to take control of the driver's seat, you can kiss the goal goodbye. Sure, a person can get near the mark or settle for something nearly as good as getting exactly what he or she wanted, but why settle for anything? No matter who you would have chosen after you let Ali go, you were settling.
Then, the next week you sent home the person who could have been second best for you. Gia was a little slow to tell you she was falling in love with you, and everyone has an ego and loves to hear that, but you are completely blind if you couldn't see that yourself. She was a really kind hearted and sincere individual, much more than Vienna could ever hope to be. Vienna is the one practically spouting sonnets to you day and night, and maybe that is what you want.
Granted, Tenley was also a very nice and kind person. The only difficulty I foresaw with Tenley was she hadn't dated since her divorce. I think it had been long enough that she wasn't on the rebound anymore, but she needed to get out there and date around before she jumped back onto the marriage train. She was more than divorced. She was humiliated, metaphorically spit on, devastated, run into the ground, and left to die in the middle of the market street. How could anyone treat a Disney princess the way her ex-husband did her? What a chump.
That also just goes to show you, what you think is love could be lust and desperation disguised as Prince Charming, or the woman of your dreams. It is only a matter of time before lust decides to turn its affection toward some other object.
With the final two women being Vienna and Tenley, you would have without a doubt built a happier and more fulfilling life with Tenley. Even your family seemed to be more smitten with Tenley than Vienna. They did warm up to Vienna after an entire afternoon of tension, but you would think their initial reaction would have played a big role in your final decision.
Still, after all that, you chose Vienna. I was waiting every week for you to send that girl home and she ended up being the one you decide to marry. I am flabbergasted. Either the producers chose to paint Vienna in such a light that would make America not like her, or she isn't very likable. Look at the tabloids. I don't trust them as a credible source for anything except maybe Kirstie Alley, but they are throwing her name around like mud. She hasn't made any friends in the process of turning you into her fiancé. Then again, who doesn't love the droopy eyed awe-struck puppy following them around and caressing their ego regardless of all the smack talk involved?
It is my prediction that the two of you will last twice as long as Vienna's first marriage. That marriage lasted three weeks, so therefore I give you six weeks of married life until something goes awry and one of you is out of there.
Good luck with everything, especially keeping your job with participating in one reality TV show after another. I have to admit that I look forward to seeing you on "Dancing With The Stars."
Sincerely,
Kate
Congratulations on being chosen to be on "The Bachelor" and thank you for a most entertaining season.
Now that the niceties are out of the way, let's get down to business. What were you thinking?
Before I even get into the final decision of yours, we need to discuss the whole Ali situation. I understand that you didn't want to be the one to decide for her whether she was going to stay on the show and take a chance on love with you, or go home so she wouldn't lose her job, but how could you let her go? She was the girl you went on the show to find and you just let her slip right through your fingers.
I know that sometimes in life, for whatever reason, when people get really close to having absolute success with something they get scared of what might happen if they actually accomplish that huge goal and make it a reality, like marriage. Then starts the self-doubt and excuse making. Once fear starts to take control of the driver's seat, you can kiss the goal goodbye. Sure, a person can get near the mark or settle for something nearly as good as getting exactly what he or she wanted, but why settle for anything? No matter who you would have chosen after you let Ali go, you were settling.
Then, the next week you sent home the person who could have been second best for you. Gia was a little slow to tell you she was falling in love with you, and everyone has an ego and loves to hear that, but you are completely blind if you couldn't see that yourself. She was a really kind hearted and sincere individual, much more than Vienna could ever hope to be. Vienna is the one practically spouting sonnets to you day and night, and maybe that is what you want.
Granted, Tenley was also a very nice and kind person. The only difficulty I foresaw with Tenley was she hadn't dated since her divorce. I think it had been long enough that she wasn't on the rebound anymore, but she needed to get out there and date around before she jumped back onto the marriage train. She was more than divorced. She was humiliated, metaphorically spit on, devastated, run into the ground, and left to die in the middle of the market street. How could anyone treat a Disney princess the way her ex-husband did her? What a chump.
That also just goes to show you, what you think is love could be lust and desperation disguised as Prince Charming, or the woman of your dreams. It is only a matter of time before lust decides to turn its affection toward some other object.
With the final two women being Vienna and Tenley, you would have without a doubt built a happier and more fulfilling life with Tenley. Even your family seemed to be more smitten with Tenley than Vienna. They did warm up to Vienna after an entire afternoon of tension, but you would think their initial reaction would have played a big role in your final decision.
Still, after all that, you chose Vienna. I was waiting every week for you to send that girl home and she ended up being the one you decide to marry. I am flabbergasted. Either the producers chose to paint Vienna in such a light that would make America not like her, or she isn't very likable. Look at the tabloids. I don't trust them as a credible source for anything except maybe Kirstie Alley, but they are throwing her name around like mud. She hasn't made any friends in the process of turning you into her fiancé. Then again, who doesn't love the droopy eyed awe-struck puppy following them around and caressing their ego regardless of all the smack talk involved?
It is my prediction that the two of you will last twice as long as Vienna's first marriage. That marriage lasted three weeks, so therefore I give you six weeks of married life until something goes awry and one of you is out of there.
Good luck with everything, especially keeping your job with participating in one reality TV show after another. I have to admit that I look forward to seeing you on "Dancing With The Stars."
Sincerely,
Kate
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